THE ADVENTURES OF ABEL AND MOBY
by marmeenoir17
Summary: JOIN ABEL AND MOBY IN THEIR EVERYDAY LIVES AMONGST THE SONS. TOTAL CRACKFIC
1. Chapter 1

It would be funny if not for the fact that it happened so often. Gemma sighed heavily as she entered the school. With Tara at work and Jax and the boys up to Club business it fell on her to figure out the mess Abel and Moby had gotten into…..again.

She walked into the office and found them both sitting there looking smug. She rolled her eyes. "Go get in the damn car, and let me handle this."

"Sorry Grandma, couldn't help ourselves this time." Abel said kissing her cheek.

"Your dad tried the same charm on me too. Didn't work then, wont work now. Now scram. I had to reschedule a hair appointment for this." Gemma said inwardly trying not to smile.

The boys high tailed it out of the office. Abel and Moby had been like peas in a pod since they were little. Moby was four years older, but he'd failed twice while Abel had skipped two grades, placing them both in the same grade. Abel was a lot like his dad, blonde, tall, and ever the smartass. Moby was not like his dad, except for the weirdness. Moby was slightly shorter than Abel, his dirty blonde hair stuck out in every direction. Moby had a bad case of ADHD, so his meds had to be monitored, especially since the last time when he took too many and went crazy in the Lodi mall. It had taken the Sons an hour to catch him as he ran around throwing underwear he took form the Victoria's Secret store. Half of the time was because he was fast the other half was because they couldn't stop laughing as he yelled "Panties, I love panties!"

Both boys love to pull pranks, whether they backfired or not, and that was what brought her here today. She sat down in Principal Hill's office and waited to hear the latest scandal her boys had gotten into.

"Mrs. Morrow, I'm sure its no surprise that you find yourself here once again." He began.

"No its not, so lets skip the pleasantries and get onto it, I have some errands to run. What did they do this time?" Gemma said ready to go.

"This time they put koolaide in the shower heads. Now I have twenty eight football players and twelve cheerleaders with blue and purple hair."

"And how do you know it was my boys?" She questioned.

Principal Hill took his glasses off and sighed. "Because their hands are stained."

Gemma sighed. "So what's the punishment?"

"This time I'm afraid its Out of school suspension, three days and a written apology to the teams."

Gemma stood. "Fine, they'll see you in three days."

She walked out to find them sitting in her car, trying to be good. This made her snort, they wouldn't know good if it pitched a tent in their asses.

"You two are in trouble so quit the angel acts, it wont work. Speaking of work I know of some dorm rooms that need cleaning and the bathrooms need the grouts cleaned. That's what you'll be doing for the three days of OSS you have, and when that's done you have to write a letter of apology to the sportos whose hair you dyed." She put the car in gear and headed back to the Teller-Morrow garage.

When she got there, Moby and Abel climbed out and took off. They ran in the direction of the garage. Gemma slowly followed behind them. Abel hid behind his dad, while Moby hid behind Clay.

Gemma laughed. "Nice try boys but hiding behind them will get you nowhere. Now you can go start cleaning dorm rooms or I can kick your ass, what'll be?"

Moby and Abel took off to the clubhouse. Jax and Clay laughed. "What did they get into this time Ma?"

"They put Kool-Aid in the shower heads at school. The football team and the cheerleaders are sporting purple and blue hair as we speak."

Everyone in the garage laughed. "Least its better than last time when they super glued all the teachers to their seats." Jax said.

"Yea well this time it landed them in OSS so I told them they could clean the dorm rooms and the grout in the bathrooms. They also got letters of apologies to write." Gemma said taking out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Come on Ma boys will be boys." Jax stated giving her the same smile his son had given her earlier.

It was right when she went to retort, that the boys came screaming out of the clubhouse.

Moby hit the ground clawing at his face screaming, "My eyes, my eyes! Oh damn my eyes!"

Abel looked like he was going to puke.

"What happened? You were in there two minutes." Gemma asked puzzled.

"It was awful Grandma! We went in to clean and all you could see was Tig's naked ass!" Abel said looking green.

This made everyone in the garage burst into laughter. Gemma hugged Abel and Moby. "Oh my poor babies." She said shaking with laughter.

Tig came walking up, thankfully dressed. "Next time knock morons, or I'll rape the both of you."

"Alright Tig, you've scarred them enough." Clay said chuckling as Moby made a cross with his fingers.

All in all it was just another day in the life of Abel and Moby.

A/N This story is co-written by myself and my sister. We were joking around and decided to post our ideas of what life would be like for Abel and Moby in their teen years. Total crack fic, hope you enjoy! Read and Review, let us know how you like it!


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn't unusual for Moby to go missing for hours at a time. After all he had ADHD. But to go missing for two days was a bit of a stretch and so Abel was worried.

"Grandma, did Moby call yet?" He asked leaning into the office.

"No baby, the boys are out looking for him, don't worry he'll turn up. Knowing Moby he's probably following something shiny on the back of a truck." Gemma said smiling trying to make him feel better.

Abel nodded and walked away. He wondered around trying to think of all the places Moby could have gotten off too. They'd had to retrieve Moby from the oddest places sometimes, but he'd always called once he realized he had no idea where he was.

Even Moby's dad Lowell was starting to get worried. Especially once he'd found out that Moby was not visiting his mother as he had thought. Abel tried not to think of all the trouble his friend could get into, but they kept popping in there. Frustrated, he headed to the roof, his dad had once told him that this is where he went to think. He sat down and sighed heavily. Removing a brick from the wall he ferreted out a pack of cigarettes he had stashed there. Lighting one up, he took a long drag and looked around. "Where the hell did you go Moby?" He said to himself out loud.

"Abel!"

Abel jumped up. "Moby?"

"Abel! Don't leave! I'm stuck!" Moby's muffled voice rang out.

Abel spun around trying to hear where his voice was coming from. "Where are you man?"

There was a pause then, "In the air duct."

Abel ran over and looked down, where there he found Moby. He had his legs across the wall so he didn't slide any further down. He was dirty and looked freaked out. Abel smiled in relief.

"Hang on man, I'll get some rope. Don't go anywhere!" Abel took off downstairs, hearing Moby say, " Where am I gonna go?"

He ran into the garage where his dad and the others were. "Where's the fire Abel?" Jax asked.

"I found Moby!" Abel answered grabbing rope.

They jumped up. "Where is he?" they asked.

"In the air duct on the roof." Abel said running back the way he came. Jax and the others followed.

Back on the roof, Abel ran to the duct and leaned in. "Hey Mobe, grab the rope I'ma pull you out ok?"

"Sure man why not?" Moby answered grabbing the rope.

Jax, Opie, Chibbs, and Abel began pulling Moby out. As he got to the top of the duct, Abel moved over and pulled him the rest of the way out. Moby flopped onto the roof and lay there catching his breath. Abel looked down at him and kicked him in the ass.

"Ow! What was that for?" Moby said glaring at him.

"For being so fucking retarded that you'd get stuck in a damn air duct that's what! Jeez you tard, you had everyone worried. We've been looking everywhere for you. Why didn't you call someone when you got stuck?" Abel questioned.

Moby stood on shaky legs. "I was going to, but when I pulled my phone out of my pocket I dropped it down the air duct. I shouted till I was hoarse."

Abel stood there glaring at him. "What possessed you to climb in the air duct?"

Moby shuffled his feet. "Well I was up dicking around up here and I looked down it and saw something shiny. I figured it wasn't that far so I shimmied down. As it turns out it was just a gum wrapper, anyways when I was coming back up I got stuck and I've been there since."

Jax, Opie, and Chibbs snorted and whacked him upside the head. "Lets go, you muppet, got to let everyone know you're alive." Chibbs said pulling him towards the door.

Abel stood and watched his best friend follow Chibbs and Opie back down the stairs. Abel looked at his dad and said, "I know we're crack babies and all, but sometimes I wonder how much his brains actually work."

Jax laughed. "Who the hell knows with that boy?"


	3. Chapter 3

The club was in a fix. They needed to get into the police station and grab something out of evidence, but to do that they needed a distraction. Only problem was that this was in broad daylight and unlike last time when they had time, this time they were trying to beat the clock. Unser could only do so much seeing how he wasn't the officer who tagged the stuff.

They sat around spit balling ideas for a distraction when one of the drum barrels in the shop fell over to reveal Abel behind it. A loud "Ow!" was heard and the barrel opened to reveal Moby on the inside.

"What are you boys doing in here?" Jax asked his son.

"Well we were gonna freak the Prospect out, but then you guys came in and we figured we'd best just shut up till you left and carried on with the plan. But then we heard you needed a distraction?" Abel looked at his dad.

"Yea we do." Jax said giving his son a questioning look.

"Will the Main Street of Charming be a good place for said distraction?" Abel asked elbowing Moby who grinned.

"What do you boys have in mind?" Jax asked wondering what was running through their brains.

Abel looked at Moby. "Lets go get em Mobe."

Moby jumped up with a whoop. "Alright but I still say we should've gotten the goats instead."

They took off around the shop and the Sons looked at Jax. "What the hell is wrong with those two?" Tig asked.

"Piney blames dementia, they blame the crack." Jax said laughing.

They all walked outside to wait when two loud motors started up. Expecting to see trucks come around the corner, they were very surprised when two riding lawn mowers came hauling ass around the corner. Moby looked at them and grinned. "IT"S TOOL TIME!"

Abel laughed and shut his off.

"This is what we did that time we got OSS, well after all that cleaning crap Grandma made us do. We found em in that back storage shed. We were just messing around, seeing how fast we could get the motor to go." Abel said putting his hands in his pockets.

"So what do you plan to do with these?" Chibbs asked.

Moby jumped up. "That's the genius part. We're having some good ol' fashioned mower racing!" He said this with his best redneck accent.

Jax shook his head. "No dice. You get arrested and Ma and Tara will have my ass."

"Grandma said misdemeanors were negotionable." Abel argued.

"Yea and what about your mother?" Jax asked his son eyebrow raised.

Abel shrugged. "Cant win em' all Dad. Ma's used to me and Moby by now. She says at least it's not drugs."

Jax looked at his brothers. Bobby shrugged. "We need something Jax."

Jax heaved a great sigh. "Fine. But you deal with your mother after this. Your idea."

Abel flashed his dad his own smile at him. "I've got standing orders at the florist for stuff like this. Come on Mobe, we got Main Street to mow."

Moby jumped in the air victorious. "Sweet I'm taking my pants off!"

Abel shook his head and started his mower. The Sons watched them leave the lot. Tig shook his head. "And this is what we're leaving our club to?"

Chibbs laughed. "Scary isn't it?"

And so for the next hour Abel and Moby had every cop in town chasing them up and down Main Street. The Sons got what they needed and Gemma and Tara got some really nice flowers.

A/N: Hope you liked it!


	4. Chapter 4

Moby was bored. And that was never a good thing. Gemma had learned the hard way that if you wanted to keep Moby out of trouble and your hair (sometimes literally) you had to keep him occupied.

Unfortunately today Gemma was not around and that left Moby to his own devices. Which explained why he was now making a grappling hook to scale the club house wall. He didn't have a hook per say, just a boat anchor. Luckily he had plenty of rope so all he had to do now was scale the wall. He looked up that wall preparing to throw it over.

Unbeknownst to our dear Moby he was being watched. Now Gemma had told them that they needed to keep an eye on him, but they had gotten distracted working on a Harley so they were only able to find him after he had finished making his hook. Tig, Chibs and Bobby were watching him swing it around.

"You think we should stop him now, or after wait till he gets himself stuck?" Tig asked.

"Might be entertaining." Chibs noted.

"Gemma will be pissed." Bobby also noted.

They contemplated a moment too long because Moby was finally able to hook it over the side and was now climbing upward.

"Fifty bucks says he gets tangled in the rope." Chibs said.

"I'll take that." Tig replied

They watched him get half way up when his foot slipped and he slung up the extra rope with his hand trying to stop himself from falling. There was a flurry of movement and when he stopped he was hanging upside down in an almost Spiderman pose.

Tig cursed and slapped the money in Chib's hands. They walked over and Moby looked at them relieved.

"Bobby! Chibs, Tig, oh man am I glad to see you. I don't know if you noticed but I'm stuck. Can you help me down?"

The Brothers looked at each other and grinned. "Sure kid. In a minute."

Moby swallowed loudly. "Crap."

Later when Gemma came back, she found them all sitting at the picnic tables. "So what did you boys do all day?" She asked raising her eyebrow.

Moby smiled nervously. "We played volleyball!"

Gemma gave him a look. "We don't have a volleyball."

Tig grinned. "We found a substitute."

Gemma looked them over, knew something was up, but Moby didn't look hurt so she said, "Well come on, I brought you some food. Come get it before it gets cold."

Moby scrambled away from the Sons. "Gemma I don't think I'm cut out for sports."

"Oh I don't know Moby, I think you were a helluva serve." Bobby said and Gemma noted the careful phrasing. Moby ran away faster.

The Sons laughed even as Gemma tagged them in the head.

A/N: Another quick one, just popped in my head. Thank you to all my lovely reviewers. This one goes out to my reviewer requesting more Tig and Chibs! Hope you like it!


	5. Chapter 5

The Sons were hanging around the clubhouse one weekend. They'd just pulled off a large Gun run and were celebrating a bit. The bigger party was later that evening, this was just for them. The door opened to reveal Abel, Moby and Harry Jr coming in. Harry or Jr as he like to be called was a carbon copy of his dad Opie. He was even working on a beard. Jr had a very smug grin on his face, Abel looked resigned, and Moby as usual looked estatic at whatever was about to happen. Jr shoved them both in the middle of the room grinning.

Abel looked at him. "Do we have to man?" He asked, pleading for a repreive.

Jr grinned. "A bets a bet man, do it."

Abel scowled. "Fine...lets get it over with Mobe."

Moby grinned and hit the play button on his little radio. Cheesy music filled the air as the Sons watched on at the spectacle.

Moby cleared his throat and began singing.

[Moby]

Let's face the facts about me and you,  
A love unspecified.  
Though I'm proud to call you "Chocolate Bear,"  
The crowd will always talk and stare. 

Abel joined in.

[Abel]

I feel exactly those feelings, too  
And that's why I keep them inside.  
'Cause this bear can't bear the world's disdain,  
And sometimes it's easier to hide,  
Than explain our 

[Moby and Abel]

Guy love,  
That's all it is,  
Guy love,  
He's mine, I'm his,  
There's nothing gay about it in our eyes. 

[Abel]

You ask me 'bout this thing we share, 

[Moby]

And he tenderly replies, 

[Abel]

It's guy love

[Abel and Moby]

Between two guys.

[Abel]

We're closer than the average man and wife,

[Moby]

That's why our matching bracelets say Abel and Moby!

[Abel]

You know I'll stick by you, for the rest of my life. 

[Moby]

You're the only man who's ever been inside of me.

[Abel]  
Whoa, I just got that balloon out of his throat! -shakes his head, holding up his hands-

[Moby]  
There's no need to clarify,

[Abel]  
Oh no?

[Moby]  
Just let it grow more and more each day.  
It's like I married my best friend,

[Abel]  
But in a totally manly way.

[Moby and Abel]  
Let's go!  
It's guy love,  
Don't compromise,  
The feeeling of some other guy,  
Holding up your heart,  
Into the sky.

[Moby]  
I'll be there to care through all the lows.

[Abel]  
I'll be there to share the highs.

[Moby and Abel]  
It's guy love,  
Between two guys.

[Moby]  
And when I say, "I love you, Abel,"  
It's not what it implies.

[Moby and Abel]  
It's guy love  
Between  
Two  
Guys

The Sons were rolling laughing, Abel was red, Moby was grinning like a loon, and Jr gleefully handed over the money.

"Best fifty bucks I ever spent!" Jr said nodding at his dad and leaving.

Jax and Opie stood there grinning at their boys antics. "Kinda reminds me of the shit we used to pull when we were little, dont it?"

Opie grinned nodding. "You were the prettestiest ballerina ever!" He started laughing as Jax slugged him in the arm.

Abel hightailed it out of there, Moby behind him shouting. "Hey man lets do it again!"

A bird flipped in his direction was the answer he recieved.

Author's Note; And here's another one! Hope you enjoyed!


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